Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
