i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize