he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
