I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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