then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i love accidental penises.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
