4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
