hell yes lets make some ravioli
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
