There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
