Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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