It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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