so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
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Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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