you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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