Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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