I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize