S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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