One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
