scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
