I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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