i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
