You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
