just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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