dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
