I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
