My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
