Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
