From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
