We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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