If i come over, it means nothing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
