So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
