Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
FUCK WHALES
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
