Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize