You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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