Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize