I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
