As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
