Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
