apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
