What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think your dad took our porno
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
