They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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