We won't sleep together?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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