I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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