We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
