I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
MIDGETS
????
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm like, not good at living.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
