im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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