Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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