Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
