If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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