We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
