Its about making memories worth repressing
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
