holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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