As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize