I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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