she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Someone signed my nipple.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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