i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
