Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
