Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
