fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I party with great urgency now.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
