I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
