just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize