i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
