I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
